Tuesday, August 19, 2008

OH No

Oh No my cigarette is confiscated by my frenz, coz she c me still young so should slowly cut down my cigarette. she dun like me smoking and drinking. well i was tinkin of why i wanna smoke and drink.coz is my frenz ask me la. i smoke is becoz i can tink and feel relax after smoking. drink is i hope i can drunk completely one day. i swear i dun always drink.i only drink when my frenz's birthday or i go pub den will lor. i juz drink till my limit. i muz make sure i'm clear even i'm drunk. actually today i have been tinkin abt my uncle and my grandmother. I feel sad that this thing happen. I drink beer le, i shouldnt do tat, but i still do le coz i dun wanna be a gd gal, as wat my frenz tink i'm not tat kind of child. i dun wancoz i feel tat i'm actin as if i am. i dun like this feeling. I feel bad that i drink beer in front of my frenz. well i shouldnt do tat, i need to respect.but i juz give her my bad impression.i'm bad.I feel tat i have alot of things to say once i drink beer. Well i did wanna tell my frenz but i put it back to my heart le. but i did tell her my uncle and grandmother things.

Actually i admire her coz she can do the dessert so nice. i like it when she show me the pic of her desser she do. actually i tell her tat i admire a les couple who's the first couple married in the US. coz the US country for the marriage, they change the law tat same sex marriage can be marry.the first couple is them, they have been together for more than 15yrs le. their age gap is 5+ yrs difference yet they can be together for so long. i knoe it from this blog is abt lesbian things. u can go c this blog http://www.lesplaneteng.blogspot.com/ is under lesbian catalogue. i like this couple. i hope my relationship can be like them too. but difference ppl will have different things happen. is it. but i hope i'm change after my first relationship. even i have second relationship, i will take things differently from the first. i like this gal is abit older than me, coz i like mature woman. my secondary sch frenz like mature man. but my one is opposite i like mature woman. haha, well we both juz frenz now coz we juz knoe each other, i did write in my blog. i hope i can tell her when the time is right. =) will this liking her become not liking her. kidding la, coz i hope i can open flower.(chinese word).

i ask my frenz wat's the happy thing she have when we are in the train, coz she can let me forget when i feel sad or no mood. today i wont drink beer le, but smoke still have la, but already confiscated le la. if i tahun today, den tml i tahun after i smke, how abt the rest of the day in this wk. i need to smoke when i'm workin durin wkend, i'm bad man, i c my colleague go smoke, i can tahun but still smoke la, juz 1 or 2 stick for tat day. after workin, i still smoke one la, so didnt smoke much a day, den should i smoke my dad's cigarette for one or 2 stick a day. if i dun.. he. next wk i c her, she will give me 3 stick. HEHE.. i tink 2 stick better than dun have la. Hehe.

i did ask her wat's happiest thing. she tell me she's happy if she do her dessert is best. and customer say her dessert is nice too. she's happy le. but she say she's not happy when she do the dessert or bread not nice, she feel tat she still need learning. i feel tat she's the best le, i hope i can try her dessert one day. i dun wan her to treat me eat. if i wanna eat, i will use my earned money to eat. i feel paiseh and bad when she treat me, i will used to it de. so i dun wanna be like tat la, anyway she will c my blog after i update. so now i will thank her for treating me eat. thank you for trusting me. i'm sorry to tell you some lie abt my smoking. I didnt wanna quit not becoz of my uncle things. is i need 1 to 3 cigarette a day, so i feel comfortable. i can tahun a day last time, now i need it at least 3 stick a day. well i didnt cut down at all. but i try to control myself le. now my cigarette is confiscated, this is my dad buy one, he have cigarette so he give me my favourite cigarette. now dun have le la. My frenz is cute and pretty now and past too. haha. she will have confidence in her appearance and her inner beauty. i hope she have confidence in herself.


i'm going to sleep le la. i write so long so to let my frenz read la, i write wat i'm tinkin la, i wanna say sorry to my best frenz and secondary sch frenz who read this, coz i write abt my les stuff, i wan u guys knoe tat i'm lesbian. i hope u dun mind. coz i already dun have so much frenz, only left u all le. gd nite and sweet dream to this frenz who gonna read now.

Posted by Ah Jac at 12:57 AM