hihi.. tonite juz wanna update my blog of how i'm doin.. Well i have to say i'm jobless again. and also hard to find job due to economic bad. i'm not really jobless la juz gettin lesser workin days. now i'm juz wanna tink wat should i do for the time being, and continue with my bakin in some other ways, to earn some more money... well studying my course still on till next yr ba. i happen alot of things in my life.. well it's long story... well my life still moving on and on. now i'm single again. i'm no more patching up with my second ex gf, i'm totally no feelin for her. so the day itself, i say the truthful words to her. and once more i hurt her again. everyone willl say i'm bad gal. coz i start relationship with her and end this relationship is me too.. well i dun wanna tink abt it whenever i c her pic, i feel bad and heart pain.
well i tink why i have this feelin, but i knoe the ans, i'm feelin empty and of course i c couple in the public, i feel more empty and more lonely. well i stop tinkin abt it, i will juz tink of my cakes and pastry to stop tinkin abt tat. well i'm happy in sch coz i can c a gal who's my type i like. and most glad tat my practical room can see through her practical room. i will keep on seein her whenever i have time. sometime i will give some of my cake product to her class eat juz wanna have a chance to get closer to her. well i'm happy to see her 2 days a wk. i haven make frenz with her. i wanna knoe her better. i decide this chance tml to make frenz with her. coz last wk i miss the chance coz i can get the chance to say hi, but i ignore coz my classmate is beside me and she will tell me to chase her and advice how to get her. i'm regret tat i never say hi. i feel tat to make frenz with her is by fate. cant force the things to do watever u like, it wont have happiness. i feel this way. so i rather let it be natural way. but i scare i get hurt first when i make frenz with her, i feel sad if she have a bf. i will feel lose in the way. tat's another reason i didnt make frenz with her first ba. anyway i gotta see how the things goes, i will juz follow it up. if i cant step in, i wont step, i dun mind gettin hurt, i use to the hurt i have it in my ex. i understand the thing and experience from my surroundin, family,frenz,workin. i still have things tat i dun really understand. And one more things i'm going another trip with my cousin to a'famosa resort at malacca,malaysia. this time i will spend less and tink wat to buy first before buyin. coz last trip is at feb, now is march trip. oh dear..oh ya i'm going on the 19 march come back on 21 march. anyway i stop here today. i will update again another time
thank u for seeing my blog, take care everyone
Posted by Ah Jac at 11:42 PM
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Happy Chinese New Year!!!
Hi hi... i'm been busy workin, studyin,meetin fren, enjoy lunch,dinner with my family and frenz. Usually is this wk, coz of chinese new year, hehe... anyway my life is alright, juz keep on workin and get more money in, and one more things is i'm going short holiday at chinese new year. YEAH!!! I'm bad la never celebrate with my family. anyway i'll prepare everything first for my family before i go holiday peacefully. tat's y i'm busy with my mum buyin chinese new year goods. N i also will go temple to pray for my peaceful holiday. ^_^ i make butter cookies for my frenz, classmates, colleague and Families too. i will make butter cake for them too. they ask me to make. oh, this sat will be my busy days, tat's y i never go drink coz last fri i drink till 5am. oh late for my work next day. i cant make it for this wk coz i'm going holiday on sun morning 11am. hehe. N somemore the lady boss ask me to work for few hrs on sun juz to make the cheesecake for her. i wanna say her lor. i did say her few times coz she's not a gd boss at all. yet work for her like an idiot. N i muz get up early, so i can finish it on time and i dun wanna miss my holiday. lucky lady boss give me taxi fare, she dun give la, i'm surely dun work for her one. coz her money is not worth it, at least i get the money from my another part time job to cover up my holiday trip. Haiz... anyway i muz prepare everything on sat, at least sun wont rush. i hope everything will be alright before i go my trip. oh ya, i havent say i go where, i'm going bintan island with baking classmates for 3day 2nites. ^_^ i'm gonna miss my family.
N my second ex gf keep on msg me this wk but never reply her, but did reply sometime. in the end it's my fault to argue. i dunno y.i juz dun feel right from her, i juz keep on tinking if i'm with her, wat should i do, i juz feel tat she can be my first love appearance and mature better, i would love her, haiz... but my mind is blank when i c her msg, dunno wat to say. i thought to myself tat she might not be the right gal. juz cant find it from her tat make me to have feeling. i juz dunno how to face her. when i c her, i will treat her as frenz, so as to knoe her slowly so this patching up with is success, but she juz make it bad, n make me feel awkward to her again. it's true tat i have memories of my first ex, coz i regret it. so the second ex is like changing of myself not to make mistake to my first ex. but i never tink in the first place, now i'm bad gal tat make her hurt alot. so i make a mistake again, i feel tired tat my second ex cant understand or she dun understand the meaning. i make a mistake to my first ex, tat i tell her tat i wan a mature one. but now is the opposite way coz my second ex gf is still the same as my first ex. haiz, anyway i cant find a right one till age of 30. nvm. i juz gotta keep on concentrate my studies and working, coz money come in more...
i will say HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE... Propersity to everyone. take care everyone, Thank you for seeing my blog.
Posted by Ah Jac at 12:00 AM
Thursday, January 1, 2009
mY UNhappY last days of the YEAR. Happy New Year to everyone
Hi everyone. today is really not my day. although i'm workin last day at the petrol station. but i happen to meet a nasty and stubborn customer scold me coz of a small matter.sory dun really wanna say abt the matter. but i should say back to this customer but keep quiet all along. well it's a small matter, but to me hurt my pride. N i juz cry out. dunno y i cant be patient n keep myself calm. today i have been feeling down even workin at the resataurant. now i have to find another job or else my money surely get lesser. coz i'm no more workin there.
sorry juz wanna say out in my blog,coz dun wanna put in my heart,or else i have been cryin till my eye is swollen, although wanna forget but i cant,it hurt me when i tink of it. well this sentence is to the bloody idiot,lan jiao,kanasei,nothing to do and say bloody words customer motherfucker customer, chao ji bie. I'm not a person who gonna let u step again. go eat shit, bloody hell customer. when i'm the boss, i c u in my shop, i'm not gonna let u in my shop, i'm not gonna earn ur blooody money. coz i dun wanna let my staff kana say by ur bloody mouth. u lan jiao customer, chao ji bie. u better dun let me see u, i use my eyes stare at u till u will see my power of starin to scare u den ur bloody mouth sayin bloody idiot words to me.chao ji bie.
i have been tinkin of my plan workin, findin another short course to learn, open another blog to sell my cakes, dessert and pastries.but i'm not up to tat standard. but still nice la. and i also decided to go holiday at chinese new year, i dun feel like celebrating, i dun like to see singapore. it's a nightmare to me. i have worst memories here. and nice memories.
i have been tinkin abt my second ex gf today, i'm feeling down, i wanna see her, i juz wan a hug from her. juz wanna feel warmth. but i reject this tinkin coz i tink back when i'm with her the days.i'll stop tinkin. when i c her now, i still tink it's not the right time to ask for tat patch, coz i'm not ready for tat, or i doesnt understand her after few mths, i might be busy with my stuff so wont go understand it. juz dun feel like being attached, so wont tell her wat i'm tinkin. coz the way i c her, she still haven really wat i'm tinkin of.
it's really confirm i'm going to bintan island for 3 days 2 nite. well i did let my mother worry, but i dun really like to stay at singapore to see the surrounding. it remind me alot things and make me stress, i shouldnt tink, but i should say i'm totally down today. i already tell mum tat i'm not gonna spend $100 on new yr clothes. will spend on my trip. although i have things to buy, but i decide to go trip. so wont tink abt buying.i juz need relax. i will spent few hundred buck for my trip. i'm gonna plan for my wk to be busy. or else, money lesser, i shouldnt go trip but still go le, i should say myself tat my stubborness is still have in me, i should forget and dun tink abt it, den wont happen le ma. and i didnt tell my parent abt wat happen coz they dunnno i workin as pump attendant. so as not to let them worry. i will plan properly for my trip and money and my wk to be busy and money too..
well last to say HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE.hope everyone smooth with everything. thank for seeing my blog.
Posted by Ah Jac at 12:20 AM
Monday, December 8, 2008
juz update
Hi juz wanna update my blog since it's very long never update le... well i broke up with her le and i realize alot of things when i'm with her. she make me tired even how hard i wanna get along with her. now i give up le. she insist she wanna patch up again. but i'm tired coz i'm workin 2 part times job juz to get money coz of her. coz of workin, our meetin time is less. tat's y my feelin is being ceased coz of it. anyway i'm now workin 2 part time job and part time study. it's still gonna go on coz i needed money, well one of the reason i dun like patch with her coz she always tell me she have no money make me feel more tired coz i need to work in order to pay her and mine when we going out. and i wont buy things tat i wan it. coz gotta save for her. now money to me is sensitive coz of economic bad and my mother. she ask me when salary pay in, i feel vexed whenever she ask me. i dun like it. the more my ex gf the more i'm tired i am. now whenever i meet her, i juz treat her as a frenz, but she's the one who keep on emo to me and show how ill and sad she is to tell everyone abt it. i dun like it, but her frenz say she's like tat. i would rather dun meet her even her frenz ask me out. but her birhtday is coming, i tink she wanna a patch out with me if she wish. i dunno wat to do. nowadays i juz only tink of my workin and my baking stuff. i did tink of her in the days we been together but i feel tired. now i den update my blog coz i have things happening to me. i feel vexed coz of my mum and ex gf and my workin. sometime becoz of my mum i feel like movin out coz of her being control, feel more stress and did cry out alone and my ex gf hug. sometime i dun wanna feel this feeling. anyway now i back to usual, juz workin, after workin very tired juz go home rest. sometime my frenz ask me out will meet them but i wont take taxi home. coz i dun wan waste it. my frenz understand me juz only my ex gf doesnt understand how's my situation in the past. now she wanna understand it, doesnt she feel it's too late le me. she wanna change herself now coz of me, sorry i dun like to be a boss for u. my attitude still havent change as usual. i hate myself sometime too. but i will always be patient with everything except my ex gf, she make me impatient whenever i with her and her frenz. i dunno y. so i feel like dun meet her coz of this. anyway it's already a past to me. wat i wanna say she knoe le. the same things. i can do it is becoz of my family and my workin. i dun wan to be affected coz of this. i can understand my first love make me heartbroken, so u are the second one i break up i also understand and dun wan be like my old shell like last time. anyway now this is how my life going, so so sorry never update, oh ya, u wanna see my pic. i will update in my friendster. hehe. u will see my second ex gf. so thank for seeing my blogs, take care everyone^_^
Posted by Ah Jac at 2:05 PM
Thursday, September 18, 2008
feelin sick
well i drink too much yesterday. today my stomach keep on groanin and bloatin. i dun have the appetite to eat. today i eat fish soup noodle at food court. In the end, i waste it coz i eat le feel like vomittin. coz i'm havin some prob with my digestive system. haha. tml i'm going to drink again. haha my frenz treat me again. i will drink till a limit.
Well i'm chasin a gal juz recently. I miss her now. ^_^
anyway i gotta find a stable job, like this hangin out will cost me alot. Haiz... Aiya
Posted by Ah Jac at 8:26 PM
Monday, September 15, 2008
wan a carefree life
I wanna be lonely i wanna be a item tat doesnt need to move,tink, worry, last long forever till it spoil,rust. i wanna be animal tat juz move wherever u wan, juz do wat u wan, wont live long, tat's the end for animal. i dun wanna have this feelin. i wanna go to my house, my room and close the door. i wanna be quiet,no talkin to family, frenz, juz in the room only me, juz only listen to the air,bird outside my window, walkin footstep, dun need to talk. i wanna be like this. but i cant. i have frenz,family,close ppl to me. i can be listener, i dun like talkin. talkin does have funny way,does have hurtin way, does have lame way, does have boring way, does have stuck in the middle way. me choose to be silent way. i hate tat part time job, i should say i still not use to it, cant give up halfway, frenz give me a opportunity to see a new road. i shouldnt do this to let my frenz down. i hate myself like hell. i wanna scold myself to wake up. i drink so much of beer and alcohol end up i'm drunk and feel umcomfortable,vomit out. i'm a fucker. i'm so damn fuck. i dun like this job yet i drink is to forget this damn fuck feelin. next day i work a use to it job, yet test my skill is it i'm gettin faster so can catch up in the new job. i'm now so damn fuck.am i interested or should i say i'm a fucker tat doesnt tink of a plan. ya. so true tat i tell myself i'm a idiot,bastard,SOB,fucker,stupid,lame gal. i'm so fucked up with myself. SOB!!!!! FUCK U-> IS ME. fuck,fuck,fuCK. i'm so damn a fucker. useless fucker fucker now writin this mean i wanna shout out to my blog tat i dun wanna have this feelin in my heart. dun wanna tink tat concern this things. i'M A FUCKER FUCKER, i wanna tell mu blog tat i'm unhappy currently. FUCK FUCK,FUCK HATE MYSELF,FUCKER ME A FUCKER TAT NO BRAIN SLOW THINKER SLOW IN LEARNING,FUCKER TAT ME A FUCKER/. hate it fuck ffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkkkk this stupid fucker of me, jac aka jackie useless gal in the world, stupid idiot fucker sob of jac.
now i tell u tat i juz write for fun, u dun like this vulgar u can dun read it. sory to let u see this update blog. sorry. thk for ur inconveninence. tat's all sory
Posted by Ah Jac at 1:49 AM
Thursday, September 11, 2008
juZ UpdaTIng
Hi.. I'm juz updatin my blog. well i was hopin to make myself busy. Well i feel sian coz i hope tml faster come so i can work in the hotel, so i can forget the timing and dun wanna stress at home like hell. coz i also hopin to c my wedding cake on the sat and also going my frenz's birthday party. haha.. well i feel boring at home, i now write my blog to waste my time. i thought i can work in the ice cream shop, but the schedule of mine is not the same as wat the boss wan. LOL. i dun wanna quit the job, coz it's ok. i always keep quiet and my job i do very slowly. oh i'm fucker. so damn idiot fucker... I wanna waste my time now. i feel tat i'm busy this wk but next wk wont be le. coz i'm juz the same as usual. my sis have a item together. me is single but available. lol.
oh no. i wanna go out also gotta be alone le la.. she will be busy with her item and her work and her study. i muz make myself busy, but i really have nothing to do, juz helpin my mum moppin the floor and take the clothes out. oh ya. i cut my hair again. this time really damn short. well it's not up to their requirement so no choice. i'm damn sad c my hair cut short. haha. well i like this haircut. coz i find it tat first time cut this hairstyle.
well tat's all gotta say. take care guy and thk for readin it.
Posted by Ah Jac at 2:46 PM
introduction of me...
hihi..my name is jac,21.chi name is shuling.me workin part time at cheesecake shop.study part time diploma in baking.My thinkin N dream is going oversea to work,learn,study,realize.I'm sory and feel bad to let my parent worryin me.
My Tagboard:)miss me juz tell me n i will know it..haha..feel free to tag anything..